Something has come up recently that has given me that sick feeling in my stomach. You know the one that comes with worry? Yeah, that one. Apparently I've said too much to a fellow blogger. The comment that I made was not made with ill-intent. It was simply made as a friend. I am of the mind that friends tell you the truth, not sugar coat everything or tell you that everything is okay when it's really not. I like to be truthful with my friends and I like them to be the same way in return. At the beginning of friendships I typically keep my thoughts to myself until I get to know the person better. I guess I am at a point now with my online friendships that I'm commenting more honestly.
When I get to that point with people, even in my real-life situations, sometimes things fly out of my mouth that are either inappropriate or that are taken the wrong way. For example, the time that I was talking to my high school accounting teacher (who I loved) and she mentioned that she was very thirsty that day and didn't know why. I then said, "Were ya drinkin' last night?" Uh, yeah....VERY inappropriate and yes, that went over like a lead balloon and yes, I did get scolded for it. I felt bad immediately, and I told her the truth: I feel comfortable enough with you that dumb crap sometimes will just fly out of my mouth.
As I mentioned before, I think I have gotten to this point with my blog friends. In being my normal self, I have offended some people. I'm sorry for this. I have apologized already, but I will do it again: I am very sorry. In thinking this over, I've come to the conclusion that no matter how good of friends you are online, your online friends still don't really "know" you or your personality. You guys don't know how I'm super sarcastic or how I say, "Really?" when I think something if freaking dumb. You don't know what the tone of my voice is when I comment on your posts and you don't know what the tone of my voice is when I write my posts. That is how things can be misconstrued so easily in online friendships. It's nobody's fault, it's just the way it is.
Anyway, this issue has become a cloud over me. It's brought drama into my life and I am the type of person who avoids drama at all costs. That's why I didn't love high school. That's also why I didn't get involved in anything in college, because the more people you know, the more drama there is. That's why my close friends are all people I've either known since I was a little kid or people I have known since high school. I know that these people have minimal drama in their lives also. They're mellow folks, just like me. I have enough problems in my "real" life, I don't need to have problems in my blog life. Blogging used to be a fun thing for me where I could vent my problems, get advice, give advice and call it a day. Now, I just feel bad for giving the advice I think is appropriate for a situation and it's just not worth it to me. I have enough reasons to be sad in my "real" life. I don't need to be made feel bad in my blog life, too. I just don't.
Because of this, I've decided to hang it up. If you want to keep in touch with me, please do. Most of you know my e-mail by now, and if you don't please ask for it. I'm also on Facebook. I'll also probably be checking in on some of you because after blogging and blog walking for two and a half years, it's become part of my normal day. I'll leave this up for awhile, but I'll be deleting this blog as well as my blog on spaces probably by the first of the year.
Thank you, girls, for a good run. I've made some great friends here. I've also learned about the cultural differences we have, even though we all live in the same country. I've learned a lot about things I probably would never have known or heard of or anything if it weren't for you. You helped me through my mom's cancer and that means the world to me.
I just can't do it anymore. I just can't.
9 comments:
My dear friend and the daughter I wish I had, I hate, absolutely hate, to see you go. I find it difficult to believe that you could have said something to anyone that would be offensive. You are one of the most caring and sensitive 'blog' friends that I have met. I absolutely love your insight and perspective because you are the same age as my children. Your advice has been valuable to me on many ocassions. I know I won't be missing you, because I know we will keep up with our friendship whether you have a blog or not.
BUT, I do NOT want you to feel sad or upset that perhaps your words hurt someone else. Since I know that you don't have a mean bone in your body I can't even imagine that you would ruthlessly and intentionally post something with ill-intent. It's just not in you. All you can do is apologize for the misunderstanding and you have. It hurts me knowing that you have taken it so deeply to heart and have suffered because of this. I wish I could take that pain away from you.
Now you need to go foward with your head held high and remember that there are plenty of us out here that love you unconditionally.
Well, it's hard to follow up Kat on this..but I will just say that you, and your family will be missed. You have made me laugh, cry, snort, worry over the past couple years.
Moreover I am sorry that you feel that you need to hang up your blogging shoes because of drama. That is not the way it should be at all, but sometimes that happens. People forget that while they have the right to post whatever they want, others can comment however they want as well. Hell, even I have forgotten that fact a time or two. :)
You know damn well you won't be getting rid of me though! Smooches.
Dammit... you can't stop blogging! You just can't! I know I've got you connected on FB, but that's still not the same. I'm going to miss reading about the bar, your Mom, your Granny, your home makeover... you just can't stop! I LOVE LOVE LOVE your advice and comments you have always left on my site! :( I'm so sad! Just delete the person who you offended and be done with it! Don't you wish it was that easy?
Love ya girlie!
Tiffany
Damn, I wish I had time to tell you how I feel about all this but I just don't. Work has me slammed but I have to say something. i will miss you so much. You are my sister, and your mom is my mom, and you are a great friend. Please keep in touch on Facebook and I will try also. I am going to miss hearing about your life. i really do hope you decide to keep blogging but if you don't then I support that decision too. *big love!*
Well poopstick.
My Dear Sarah, Kat said it all. I loved you from the first blog I read of yours even though we are mannnnnnnnnny years apart in age, but I love your stories, your mom, you grandma, and the memories of your dad, all of this we have shared, and I've come to check on you just like you were one of my grandchildren. You take care and I will stay in touch one way or the other. I'm sorry that this has all happen to you , I feel if people didn't want a comment they should not blog. That simple. You take care and I hope you have the best Thanksgiving ever. One of my blessing is having knowing you this year. Take care, Love Ya, Pat
"Baby Come Back...."... (name that tune)
I'm gonna send you an e-mail.
Hope Thanksgiving and your trip to the cities for the vikings game was a good one! It was a great game at least! Miss you & hope you come back. I think I saw the comment that started this and I know you didn't mean to offend the person by it. You're such a nice, sensative person & I know you didn't mean to cause any drama. So...we all took a vote and we want you back!!
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